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Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.Your devoted fan, Jim.

Your dearest wish is for two more Saturdays. That way you’d have a different girlband pop vixen to think about during those ‘alone’ times in the shower for every day of the week. Until next week.

Cancer- you take great delight whilst on a trip to Munich when you see a man trip over and break all his teeth on the pavement, however you find it difficult to find the right German word to use to describe your feelings to Claus, your guide. Try looking up the German for Shadenfreude.

Scorpio- just when you think it can’t get any worse you discover you were born in Newport, and as such have no soul.

Aquarius- when you think back to all those times when you went to mother’s for tea and you were ill immediately afterwards, it makes you wonder about how honest she was when she ‘joked’ about poisoning you.

Libra- your feelings of individuality and being special are dashed today when you discover your colleague is also a libra. Along with approximately one twelfth of the population of the fucking planet.

Steve Jobs Interview with Playboy magazine, 1985

“The most compelling reason for most people to buy a computer for the home will be to link it to a nationwide communications network. We’re just in the beginning stages of what will be a truly remarkable breakthrough for most people - as remarkable as the telephone.”

Whatever you think of Apple, Steve Jobs was a true visionary. I’m finding it hard to think of someone who has affected my life and the way I work and play, other than my wife of course, more than Steve Jobs. It may sound a bit weird to say, but if you think about what was achieved during his time in the technology industry he had a hand in most of what we take for granted. Windows, OS X, IP Networks, the personal computer, not to mention the iPod, iTunes et al.

He wasn’t the first, definitely won’t be the last, but he’ll take some beating.

iSad.

Hello Rioters. Look at your friend, now back to me. Now at your friend, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using petrol bombs and started using job centre he could potentiall​y be me. Look down, back up. Where are we? You’re at an interview with the man your friend could work for. What’s in your hand? Back at me. I have it.It’s an applicatio​n form to that job you need. Look again.The form is now money. Anything is possible when you get a job and stop looting.
I’m on a horse.

If these stupid bastards in London feel hard done by by the police maybe they could stop their hard fought struggles for electrical items and reebok trainers for a minute and think about what has been going on in Libya, Syria, Egypt and other nations struggling against oppression by demonstrating and dying in the name of their cause. If it wasn’t for the freedom to tweet and send BBM messages I’m sure they’d find their riots hard to organise. Freedoms they are happy to take for granted.
These kids are bemoaning the lack of tangible entertainment and jobs, which is a problem across the country in many economically depressed areas. It is a problem that the government need to address rather than cut funding willy nilly. However I find it hard to feel sorry for them when their reaction is to smash the local area to bits and steal from the local economy which is actually an important part of the solution to many of their problems. For many of these youths the biggest problem they’ve had is that they got grounded at some point.
The Mark Duggan thing is a bit of a red herring now. It has as much to do with the violence as I do.
The evidence seems to be that this man had a gun, a normal guy on the street has no business carrying a gun. If you are a normal guy, carrying a gun and you get shot to death it’s your own fault. This guy’s family seem to be making him out to be some kind of hero when I have heard he was actually en route to execute a bloke for killing his cousin. What a guy.
The cycle has to stop somewhere, it’s going to take someone braver than Mark Duggan to stop the violence, stop the eye for an eye culture that seems to exist in these communities. I’ll make a start. If I get killed for writing this I promise I won’t kill anyone back.